I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
We are all done wearing pants today
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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