There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
