i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
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