Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
It was a blind-side dick pic.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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