yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
