I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize