Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
one two three fourrrrnication!
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
