May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
