Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
