So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
