He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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