I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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