please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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