I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
