singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
