I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize