Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
