I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
