East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
