5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
