Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
