I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I just saw a hot homeless man
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
