just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
