it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Randomize
