Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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