Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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