I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
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