Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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