I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
God, I missed his penis.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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