matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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