I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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