Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
