i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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