My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
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The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
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I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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