i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
apparently the secret to your success is patron
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
