they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
false alarm, still single
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
