And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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