Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
