JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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