It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
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