For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
