Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
