She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
