We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
