never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
