I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
