her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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