i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
