DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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