I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Edward fifth and chaser hands
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize