Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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