i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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