I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
