Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
