Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
We got so high we made milksteak
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
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MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
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Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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