i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize